Me: Hand me that hoe.

Sandy: Why?

Me: I wanna see something. Hand me the hoe.

Sandy: No. It’s dirty. I don’t want to touch it.

Me: Fine. Point at the hoe.

Sandy: Why?

Me: Never mind. It’s too late. Point at the wall six inches above the hoe’s handle.

Sandy: Okay … *screams and jumps backwards* It’s a LIZARD!

Me: Yeah, it’s been climbing up the handle since we started talking.

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